


How Do You Move On From Heartbreak?

by BananaChef



Category: Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (Movies)
Genre: Character Study, Dead Parents, Depressing, F/M, France - Freeform, Gen, Hotel, Introspection, Paris - Freeform, Post-Movie 1: Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, Pre-Movie 2: Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald, Sad with a Happy Ending, Writing a letter, kind of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-20
Updated: 2019-08-20
Packaged: 2020-09-19 10:41:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,626
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20329798
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BananaChef/pseuds/BananaChef
Summary: Tina’s arrived in Paris, France with a heavy heart and, in a wave of hopelessness, writes a letter to her late mother and father in an attempt to sort out her feelings for a certain peacock-blue-coat-wearing Magizoologist.





	How Do You Move On From Heartbreak?

**Author's Note:**

> I cried several times when I was writing this. Tina is just a very sad person and I think I went too deep in her mindset when I was writing but whatever.
> 
> Set just before CoG.

Tina walked into the Parisian hotel room, looking around and taking it in. It was so different from her brownstone apartment in New York, yet it was roughly the same size. There was a bed tucked into one corner and a desk next to it, a lamp on its edge. A bedside table sat in between the bed and sliding glass doors that led to a small balcony; a small potted plant was situated in the corner between the glass doors and the door to the small bathroom.

Tina took off her dark coat and hung it on the coat rack. Looking through the glass doors to the balcony, she caught a glimpse of Paris. She walked over to the doors and opened them, stepping out into the cool September breeze.

She tried to take in her surroundings: a large public garden in the foreground and the River Seine in the background. The magnificent Parisian architecture that stretched for miles around her. The sunset staining the sky reds, pinks, and oranges. Yet her heart rejected it all, surrounded by a thick blanket of melancholy that might as well have turned the world black and white. Colors had no value. Tina had hardly smiled since she left New York. She walked back into the room and looked around, waiting for something interesting to magically appear for her to do.

She tentatively sat down at the desk and slowly opened up a drawer underneath filled with sheets of paper. She took one out, an idea forming in her mind. In another drawer, she found a pen and took one out. She paused, thinking of what she should write on this blank page full of possibilities.

She looked around the unfamiliar room for inspiration, refusing to write about what happened with N- him, even though writing down her feelings would probably help assuage the pain. She fingered her golden necklace absentmindedly, wishing her parents were still alive so they could shower her with hugs and kisses and tell her it would be okay, even if it wouldn’t. She opened up the locket, revealing a photo of her mother and father on either side. Tina had her father’s same brown hair and eyes although her hair was naturally curly. Not like Queenie’s tightly wound curls, long ones that didn’t bounce around. Queenie had their mother’s golden curls and green eyes.

_ Dear Mother and Father, _

Tina’s pen etched the strange words onto the page. It still hurt, even after all these years, to know that they hadn’t been at her Ilvermorny graduation, or around when she finished her Auror training. Her father wouldn’t give her away when she got married, her mother would never get another card for Mothers’ Day. They’ll never be grandparents because they’re dead. Most of all, they’ll never see their family again, see who their daughters grew up to be.

_ I regret that you left Queenie and I so young. You’ll never know what it’s like to have grandchildren or see Queenie and I get married. I wish you were here. You would know what to say to get Queenie and I talking again, you always did. _

She paused and studied the smiling faces of her parents. They would know how to move on from heartbreak. Because of course they would. They knew everything. How to braid hair, how to kiss a boo-boo and make it all better, how to make the best strudel. At least they’d left the recipe for the strudel.

But they weren’t here. All Tina could do was ask her questions and hope that, somehow, she would get an answer.

_ How do you move on from heartbreak? What if you fell in love with a strange man who showed you another side of the world you had never seen before? What if you were exchanging letters across the Atlantic ocean after he left for England? What if, in one of his letters, he wrote, “If I could, I would” and crossed it out and you desperately wanted to believe the rest of the sentence would have been “take a boat to New York just to see you again?” What if you are hopelessly in love with this man and find out that he is engaged to another woman? What if you thought he might be “the one?” What do you do then? How do you fix a broken life? _

Tina swallowed and felt her throat constrict as tears collected in her eyes. She gripped the pen tighter in an attempt to ground herself in reality.

_ Mama. Papa. Why does everything I love have to be stripped away from me? First, you two and now him and Queenie. Why do I walk this lonely path? Am I really being true to myself? Is this really who I am meant to be? What did I do to deserve this? _

She paused and took a deep breath, trying to hold back the tears. Even after everything she’d done to get over Newt-_ him _, all the crying, the screaming, the mistakes, the fights, the running, she just... thought that it would finally stop hurting. But it hadn’t.

Throughout all of it, Tina’d had one objective: save Credence. Maybe she couldn’t save herself, but she could save him.

_ What if I dreamed of a future between us? What if that dream has been replaced by a painful void in my heart? How do I move on from heartbreak? _

Tina couldn’t hold back the tears anymore. Her breathing was erratic and she shakily set down the pen, a tear hitting the paper. The hurt was, if anything, stronger. Maybe because she had come to terms with it, that she wasn’t just going to wake up one morning and learn that it was all a dream. That he really didn’t love her the same way she loved him.

She took refuge in the bed, slowly and deliberately covering herself with the blankets as if to shield herself from the pain she felt within. She couldn’t stop it. She couldn’t save herself from the pain, no matter how hard she tried. If only her parents were here to make her cocoa and wrap her in hugs.

For an upsettingly large number of nights in the past three months, she had cried herself to sleep. This night was no different. Quiet sobs wracked her body as she wished that she had never met the awkward wanderer from England last December.

Ever since their parents had died, it had always been Tina and Queenie, Queenie and Tina. And then, suddenly, their duo had become a foursome with Newt and Jacob. Those few days had felt so right, like finding a part of herself she hadn’t known was missing. Like finding family. When Newt left and Jacob was obliviated it had felt like another blow to her soul. But she’d found solace in the fact that Newt would come back to give her his book. But he hadn’t come back. He’d gone off and gotten engaged to another woman. Even when her parents died she hadn’t felt as sad as she had when she’d found out. Although, how would she really know? She was pretty young when that happened.

Then it was Tina and Achilles. She had been happy. Ish. He’d been a good friend. But now? Now it was Tina. Tina and her pain. Tina and her broken heart. Tina, who cries herself to sleep because she fell in love with a man who tricked her into thinking he might actually love her back. But who could ever really fall in love with a girl like her?

Who? Who could love the girl who’d been obsessed with unicorns when she was too young to be able to spell it? Who could love the girl who had trouble being “normal?” The girl who didn’t wear makeup or dresses to work because it was impractical? The girl who preferred to work alone so she could think clearly and act swiftly? Who never acted sexy because it made her feel uncomfortable? Who?

Outside the hotel was the City of Lights, the City of Love. Yet Tina wasn’t feeling the light. She felt heavy, burdened by this private sadness she carried with her wherever she went. She wasn’t feeling the love. She felt lonely and was desperately in need of one specific person to find her.

Luckily, that person would travel to the end of the universe and back to find Tina. This man would undoubtedly risk Azkaban for the woman he loves.

Actions speak louder than words. When you’re feeling sad, the people who love you the most have a way of finding you, even if you’re trying to hide. Sometimes they find a postcard you sent to your sister and decide to find you even though it could mean they go to jail, not to mention that they refused to do the exact same thing except to find an evil wizard instead of you. Sometimes the people who love you the most do stupid things and you have to save their ass. All in a day’s work when you’re one of the only ones in your family who has any practice saving the day.

Tina may yet feel light and love. Maybe just not in Paris. Or maybe in Paris. Maybe she’ll get to fall in love with “the one” twice. Maybe she’ll remember why she fell for him in the first place.

You know, the Zouwu is just a big kitty. It loves that little toy stick thingy to pieces. But not as much as Newt loves Tina. Love is the strongest magic. Newt is a prickly porcupine on the outside but a cuddly Zouwu on the inside. And Tina loves that about him.

**Author's Note:**

> [Support Me on Ko-fi!](https://ko-fi.com/T6T81ESTJ)


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